Day 10

The counselor helping us with our family troubles (which we previously considered individual problems with each child) suggested coming up with a schedule of events made for each child which will guide them through the different time periods of the day.

He printed off an example for us to take a look at. His example was a page and a half of basic tasks, it was a little too detailed for our taste, but my mind instantly grabbed the idea and begin forming it to suit our unique family.

It took a few days to get a rough plan forged in the fires of an excel spreadsheet. It was a bit simpler, but I still believed it had the detail required to guide the children throughout their day.

Before working on a schedule I didn't realize how much like an emotional minefield their life was. The children would go about their day, playing, trying to keep themselves busy with fun activities, randomly grabbed to clean up messes, randomly disciplined for not completing whichever chore they were randomly grabbed for. It was kind of like afganistan for children. Don't misunderstand me, the children didn't get wounded physically, but emotionally they were hitting discipline and disapproval 'IEDs' all the time.

I introduced "THE PLAN" to them Monday night at the dinner table after everyone had finished eating. I was suprised to find that they were very interested. They asked questions from the dinner table for about an hour. The plan laid down a schedule of events with penalties but also substantial rewards. I gauged their reactions to the different sections and had to make some 'on the fly' adjustments so they would all buy into it. I had printed off 'THE PLAN' for each of them.

This week has been testing and evaluation for "THE PLAN". I have made further tweeks to it to get the desired results. Kimberly has been amazed that the children picked it up so quickly.

The counselor said that giving the children guidelines of what was expected of them, as long as it is reasonable, will allow them to feel better about themselves, and allow us to consistently reward or discipline them.

We recognize that we haven't even started full implementation of "The Plan" but we are hopeful that we will see continued results. The results we have seen so far are as follows:

-Consistently clean common areas
-Children guiding themselves through morning schedule before school
-Abigail is more expressive
-Children anxious to start bedtime schedule and get to bed on time
-Children taking responsibility for their free time
-Kimberly spents less time throughout the day juggling children